""You keep saying that but what am I meant to do? I'm just a boy!" "Execuses!" The older me screamed "Now listen you're going to do exactly as I say" I listened to every word he said each more horrifying than…"

"At the time Chelmsford was known for the high quality of it's indian restaurants. A curry was what I wanted, a nice Lamb Korma gave me a chance think about my options and discuss my dilemma with a waiter. Waiters were great for…"

"That day Queen Elizabeth was just out minding her own business walking the corgi's down the Mall. Prince Phillip had taken one look out the window saw the dark depressing sky and thought to himself "not bloody likely" and gone back to…"

"The vampires were closing in on me so I made a quick decision and leapt into the river launching myself as far forward as possible. The currents swept me up and I found myself being pushed down the river at alarming speeds. I could see the vampires…"

"The light intensified around the hooded figure and I suddenly felt very calm. The figure pointed to the left and I heard a voice I somehow recognised tell me to "Go". Leaving them to their battle that I reasoned had nothing to do with me I…"

"Thanks Mum. The stories were really good. Get better and better each year."

"Well done Joe!! You're such a star."

"Well done boys! Great acting"