03/10/2013 Poetry - Dave Cryer 1

The Waterfall

She tumbles from the jumble of rocks

High up in the sky-brushing,

Eye-rushing wonder of mountainous might –

The sea is in her sights.


She starts her journey, falling from

The top bunk and clothing herself in sparkles

Before crashing through a daylight door

And dashing along in a busy zigzag.


Writing tips from Dave – follow the rules or break the rules – you’ll have a poem either way:


·    This opener is written in free verse, so you don’t have to worry too much about the line length or rhythm and rhyme

·    What I’ve suggested in the opener is that the waterfall is like a person who is leaving her house for the day and heading off on a journey to the sea – if you can fit in with that theme, it’d make the final poem stronger I think


Views: 89

Comment by Stefany Anne on October 3, 2013 at 3:17

The warm sun glistens on her golden face,

As she flows freely along,

Huge obstacles stand in her way,

But she goes on, not letting them bring her down.


Intimidating boulders tower over her,

As fear courses over the young girl,

But she stands strong with her head held high,

And they molder into powder and sand.


She could see the ocean in her sight,

She could hear it whispering her name, beckoning her closer,

She could smell the salty air of the sea as it hit her face,

She could almost feel the waves caressing her body.


A rush of pure joy washes through her,

Laughter bubbles from her chest,

Like a young child going to a playground,

She ran towards the sea, a wide smile lighting up her features.


As the waves wrapped around her body,

Like a warming blanket,

She tossed her head back in delight,

Wishing the moment would never end.


Katelyn Tan and Suzanna Oliver

Garden International School, KL, Malaysia

Comment by Anne-Lise Robin on October 3, 2013 at 8:50

The sun enlightens the atmosphere,

The wind passes carrying yesterday’s troubles away,

Following the wet footsteps of her optimism,

Like a soldier, progressing through her mission.


Time elapsed and still she was determined,

The splashing of waves empowered her spirit,

She had reached her favourite, desolated place,

The whirlpool where she can reflect her peace.


The vegetation grins, hinting aspiration,

Her soul strong and willing for success,

Schools of fish dance in delight around her,

Her heart pounding with ultimate joy.


Preparing for her fate, proud to be courageous,

She cheers in triumph, the waves get stronger

Building up to her destiny,

She takes her leap of faith...


Lily Palmer and Diana Andrei, Bacon’s College

Comment by Annalise Taylor on October 3, 2013 at 9:40

She tumbles and tumbles through the air


Until she realises she isn’t there


She stares back through the sunlight glare


And realises she had nothing to fear.




Isabel and Jerusa International Community School, London

Comment by Nicola Gowing on October 3, 2013 at 10:51

Her face, lit with wonder and determination,

Her body, gleaming through the water’s light,

Her hair, sparkling with crystals

Her heart pounding with excitement and courage


The azure waves swimming along her,

Gracefully beside her

Each stroke, bathing her in the cool blanket,

As the fishes danced joyful as one


The sun, the water and her soul,

In unison and harmony,

Grinning widely, she continued in her journey,

But never did she know the bond was still young and weak…

Kirsty Wong, Great Yarmouth High School, Norfolk

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