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11/10/2012 Poetry Dave Cryer http://www.davecryer.co.uk/

Stars

 

In the city, in the town, you look up at night

And only the brightest shine -

All else is dark.

 

But take a trip into the countryside,

Stare skywards and you’ll find

It peopled by millions of individual sparklers.

 

Writing tips from Dave – follow the rules or break the rules – you’ll have a poem either way:

 

  • This opener is written in free verse, so you don’t have to worry too much about the line length or rhythm and rhyme
  • What I’ve suggested in the opener is that the stars are like people and when we are wrapped up in our busy lives, we only see the very bright ones, but we need to make a bigger effort to see all the others who shine just as brightly – if you can fit in with that theme, it’d make the final poem stronger I think

 

Views: 56

Comment by Janet Rothwell on October 11, 2012 at 8:49
With the moons beam shining into one’s eyes
The stars are all luminous in the skies
A radiant swish of twinkling light
Could be seen in the darkest of night

The abandoned barn lit the barren road
As the solemn, cryptic raven crowed
Although this proved mysterious
Something in the starlight glowed
Something we will never know

The atmosphere tensed
The atmosphere grew light

By Tanya and Amy- Langley Grammar School
Comment by Nicola Gowing on October 11, 2012 at 10:16

 

The darkness pulled me into the night

A shape in the sky like a kite

There’s mist in the air

I can barely see

Whats this I feel?

Its only a donkey

 

I’m feeling drowsy

I’m almost asleep

I fall into a dream

Only to be awaken by a sheep

 

The wool was soft

The sheep was big

I stood up oh my oh my

There is a huge pig

 

The pig snorted itself awake

Checked up on its young

I walked over to it

They were resting in dung

 

The doors of the barn opened

In came a farmer

He fed the animals

That made them calmer

by Evie, Bethany, Joshua and Melissa 

Great yarmouth high school

Comment by Sarah Gould on October 11, 2012 at 11:03

Gleaming in the misty darkness,

As the wind roars like a lioness,

The only light in the phathomous black,

Evil is the only thing it lacks,

Glowing fragments of a child’s dream,

Leaving the world sparkling clean,

Many people down below,

Witnessing its everlasting glow,

The stars are golden pieces of love,

Throwing down hope from above,

The scorching sun rising out of the ashes of darkness,

As the stars die into the ever fading night.

 

Well done to Roanna, Oliver, Anthony and Hokyung from Holy Trinity Primary in Wimbledon for their great contribution!

Comment by Rosie Pike on October 11, 2012 at 12:52

“Where are the stars?”

 Demanded the sky sobbing with his sadness pouring out uncontrollably.

The sky orders many messengers to find the beloved stars again.

The soldiers set out in their silky white armour

Scavenging the world back and forth,

Leading to nowhere as they are dragged by the wind.

 The soldiers fly back over the barn and the animals below

As they asks many questions of where to go.

Oh, how the sky cries without his dear stars as he cries

Flooding the nation with his pain.

He blames the sun for his agony and sends the moon to his aid

 They fight and fight through the night:

As the clashing of the swords collide until the sun falls to his death,

Darkness hovers everywhere as he sits alone serenading the stars for their presence.

 

Tom, Matilda and Heather

 Special thanks from Bishop’s Stortford College

 

Comment by Debbie Baird on October 11, 2012 at 14:14

I am perched upon the roof of this dilapidated barn;

My arms crossed behind my head.

I stare subconsciously at the night sky.

I long to be there, amongst the stars

This is where I go to get away from it all

The hustle and bustle of this modern-day society.

My mind is worn, my mind is torn, my body aches.

The voices in my head whizz round uncontrollably

I scream ‘let me go, let me go’

I want peace and security, freedom and purity.

This is my haven, this is my secret place, where I can be released

Into my own private world.

I feel faint, my eyes flutter, I lose my state of stability

I am drifting from this world

My eyes shut for the last time

I am now up there, where I belong

Amongst the galaxies, into the stars.

The glistening light twinkles into my eyes

I am floating in the unknown,

This is an experience like none before

My soul is free, I travel through the skies

And I have no plans to return to you.

Because in this lifetime

Once you leave reality,

There’s no going back.

By Michael, West Kirby Residential School

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