13/10/2011 Poem 5 Dave Cryer

Writing tips from Dave – follow the rules or break the rules – you’ll have a poem either way:


  • For this opener each stanza is a haiku containing 3 lines of 5-7-5 syllables
  • I’ve written it in the present tense
  • Each stanza contains a kigo, which is a reference to a season
  • The imagery is of team of runners – they are changing into new kit, ready for a new race
  • You could carry on the idea of the trees as runners or you think about other autumnal things and compare them to other Olympic events
  • You could think about using different words for ordinary colours like I have



Autumn Games


End of summer light:

A valley side team of lush greens

Swaps to a new kit.


One slips on russet,

One mustard, another lime,

Shaking out their arms.

Views: 75

Comment by Debbie Baird on October 13, 2011 at 8:25

With barley blowing in the summer wind,

Animals creep gently down the russet valley.

The sun goes down on the lush green shaded landscape,

with the wildlife burrowing back to their quaint little home on hill side.

It was time to let the night come and let it out like a breath exiled from the earth. 

By Joe from West Kirby Residential School, Wirral

Comment by WP Central on October 13, 2011 at 9:48

The team of tall trees

colours slowly changing  

Sigh as their leaves fall


Summer is now ending

Grey squirrels hunt for nuts to hide 

Ready for their long sleep.


Bev Humphrey

Write Path Founder


Comment by Annalise Taylor on October 13, 2011 at 11:44

Sport fans are ready,

The new season is starting,

As leaves change colours.


Scarves are being waved,

The wind is blowing softly,

The crowd starts cheering.


Fatima and Yaqut

International Community School


Comment by zoe skoines on October 13, 2011 at 12:40
Small, spiky and green
Conkers are brave, strong and bold
Falling quick and fast

Jupiter Class, Haynes Lower School
Comment by Nicola Gowing on October 13, 2011 at 15:13

As Trees Keep Growing And Getting Stronger,

The Leaves Still Stand By There Sides,

Its Getting Lighter Everyday,

Plants Are Blooming Around.

As Wildlife Come Out Of There Hiding Spots,

People Are Changing And So Is Time,

An Happy Atmosphere Fills The Corners Of The Earth,

Blossom Is The New Colour Of Spring.

By Siobahn:) Great Yarmouth High School:)

Comment by Dave Cryer on November 1, 2011 at 10:15
Lovely writing everyone - the images are really strong and there is some great use of personification to bring nature alive. My favourite line has to be Joe's ' like a breath exiled from the earth' - briliant!

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