09/10/2013 David Orme

It was getting late. Lee and Charley had been at Megan’s house. Now they were on there way home though the town.

  There weren’t many people about as they walked past the big shopping centre. Charley looked through the glass doors.

  “Lee, look at that!”

  On the floor inside the shopping centre was a twenty pound note.

  “Shame the door’s locked!”

  Lee pushed the door just in case. It opened!

  The both pushed their way in. But when they looked down, the money had gone.

  Charley looked round. 

  “This isn’t the shopping centre! Where are we?  Let’s get out – quick!”

  But the door wouldn’t open.


Views: 73

Comment by Carola Webber on October 9, 2013 at 0:38

They pondered on what had just happened to them. They were desperate to understand the instant and mysterious disappearance of this enticing looking, twenty pound note, that was just lying solely on the floor.

Lee proclaimed in a hurry to Charley, “Where are we? Where’s the note? We have to go home! We promised mum that we’d be home by 4 o’clock!” Charley cried, “I know! We have to exit this building! Don’t worry about the note; I strongly feel it’s all just a trap!” “Consider it Lee, wouldn’t be quite strange if we find a twenty pound note lying on the floor in an empty shopping centre? We’re teenage fools, for falling into an idiotic trap like this. We need to leave; we have to go to mum.” Lee begun bursting into tears. Her eyes were red as berries and her tears were flowing like a waterfall; she was in a state of shock and she was petrified. She had no idea what was happening to her.

In an instant, all the lights in the shop began to spark and gradually they shut down. This caused Lee, to even panic more. Charley was to trying his best to remain calm, however it wasn’t working. Suddenly, they spotted a girl’s shadow She turned, It was a girl with flaming locks of golden hair, with pale skin and eyes of stunning, sapphire blue. The face was disturbingly familiar to Charley and Lee.

As they glazed into those sapphire, blue eyes, they realised that this vision was in fact...

By Maddy & Bonita, Delany College.

Comment by janet dowey on October 9, 2013 at 10:13
Lee bounded towards the front door and slammed his fists against it over and over again, hoping to shatter the glass and clamber through the gap or, at least, bang it open, but no such luck. The door held in place, stiff and unmoving, and Lee forced down the panic rising up inside his chest as he glanced around the dark room, seeing if there was any other alternative way out. The room was only a little bigger than his bedroom, but everything was plain and blank: the walls were grey, the floor was grey, the ceiling was grey.. even the strip lights suspended from the ceiling were grey. "Like we're in an old photo," he guessed. Charley glanced at him, his eyes wide and his bottom lip quivering, and then Lee spotted the rounded black orb of the security camera embedded within one corner of the ceiling. "Charley!" Lee exclaimed, pointing towards the unwavering black camera as it glistened almost wetly in the dull grey light. "The camera - someone in the security booth must see us and let us out!" So they tried to attract the unmoving, unwavering camera's attention: jumping, running, touching the black orb, even screaming - but you cannot hear anything from a tape from ten years ago...

Dylan Wright, Unity City Academy, Year Eight
Comment by janet dowey on October 9, 2013 at 10:15

"we're trapped in this place" charley remarcked "we should have left when we thought is was locked!"

"calm down charley we just need to find out if someone is in here," lee was trying to calm him down. "what was that," something had flashed past them it was to fast to make out what the shadow was but it went behind a pile of boxes. they were both glued to the spot with a scared expression plastered across both faces

"HELP!!!!, HELP!!!!!" they both screamed that is when that thing came from behind the boxes...


Bethany Peacock, Unity City Academy

Comment by Karen King - Oakbank School on October 9, 2013 at 10:47

That thing they thought they saw dashing past them wasn’t a thing at all; it was the vision of the girl with golden hair and cold blue piercing eyes. They remembered her icy white face, her piercing glare and her blanket of gold silky hair from a long time ago …
About six years ago, when they were just 8 years old and both boys were playing in their moon lit garden when they heard a whistling from outside their garden gate, slowly they crept up to it. Lee stretched his shaking had out to grab the rusty handle when suddenly a strong gust of wind gushed passed them sending them flailing to the ground. Her ghost like figure towered above them her smile full of sadness. Those dead glaring eyes hooked themselves into their souls making them want to weep, to do anything to get away from her. They crawled to their mother bursting with tears attempting to explain, she goes outside but of course she was long since gone. The only evidence of her presence was a white rose lying in the gateway. For the next six years they had nightmares of her, she was always there, sometimes as a caring hand or a figure of death. Always smiling. Always a white rose remained.
Lee thought it was almost destiny that they should meet again, he could sense she was coming but didn’t want to believe it. It was almost as if it was someone else’s actions, both boys simultaneously through glasses at her, to their horror it went straight through smashing on the cold stone floor. She looked at them, in a disappointed manner her smile faded, her eyes turning to a deep red, the colour of blood. She floated towards them hands and fingers stretched in front to grab them. She let out a echoing scream like a banshee.

By Neve Kinnear and Gaynor Yates Oakbank School

Comment by Adrian Thompson Laisterdyke UK on October 9, 2013 at 13:12
I looked around. I saw the biggest carrot in the world.It had a long moustache as well as scary red eyes. It had a ghost inside it. I was terrified.I looked around for help, but there was nobody there to help me. I was hrrofied and wee came out of my pants. I thought I was dreaming - that's how bad the face was. I thought I was dreaming but it was reality. The carrot said "I am from the Carrotside and I came to eat you". He had teeth like Bugs Bunny, and turned to bite me. He slithered towards me...

Abdul & Subhaan, Laisterdyke Business & Enterprise College, UK
Comment by Allison Painich on October 9, 2013 at 16:56
I woke up cold and sweaty. I sat up in bed and saw Bugs Bunny was on tv. Just when I was coming to my senses, static erupted the tv. I realized that I was lying on the mattress in the shopping mall. I suddenly heard Charley snoring on the mattress next to me. Desperately I tried to wake him up for an explanation. He would not wake up, so I checked his pulse. I looked around, searching for help. There was no one around to hear my cry. The room was dark. I could hardly make out the faded glow of the exit sign.

Ian, Madison, and Justin
Lee Junior High
Monroe, Louisiana, USA

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