07/10/2013 Sorrel Anderson

Hello. My name’s Mike and I’m a brain-eating amoeba. Lovely to eat, I mean meet you. There’s no need to look so worried. We brain-eating amoebas get a bad press but we’re not so different from you humans. We love summertime! And swimming! And eating brains!

Mild and sweet with a creamy texture, brains can be served hot or cold. Before cooking they need to be soaked for at least an hour, preferably longer, in several changes of water,’ says the BBC’s website.


It’s true – brains are delicious and I can see one heading (excuse the pun) my way now. Good, I’m starving.


‘The brain that will be my breakfast belongs to a boy who’s about to dive into the pond where I live. I’ll take the easy route up through his nostril and then…Bon Apetite!”


Views: 88

Comment by Lynne Coppendale on October 7, 2013 at 9:46

Mmmmm… That was divine, a nice scrummy treat for me.  I prefer squashy brains but, you know, he was kind of dumb anyway! As I said earlier, my name is Mike pretty bad since I’m an amoeba I wish I was called zoom or something like that … like all the rest of my amoeba friends. They like warm brains unlike me, I like cold brains very refreshing or not. My mum says I am pretty weird compared to her and dad, I am tall, they’re not, I’m fat as well, surprisingly  they’re… not! Because I have a bit of a habit of going to the zing bat café. I love the brain squash or brain salad yummy… they don’t like brain squash or brain salad they prefer… brain pancakes basically brain fried (with a little milk… not human milk!) My entire herd of family and friends are allergic to the human thing that has four legs and two pointy fur covered ears and nearly hate my little sister up and left her with one leg. Also there is technically a girl I kind of fancy but she is also allergic to them amoeba killer things. (Which are deadly to us!)

Mmmmmm… I can see a human coming get ready to pounce… 

Chloe Cartlidge and Olivia Morgan, Danum Academy, Doncaster

Comment by Nicola Gowing on October 7, 2013 at 10:48

Yumm…. One of the freshest I’ve ever had!  The youngest are always more refreshing, but my family never advise me to since it might ruin the family reputation; We have this law with the amoeba government that mean that all amoeba can only eat certain humans, which I think is pretty stupid because of the tiny amount of amoeba in the town compared to the masses of humans here. And anyway, we try to be friendly to them but they just reject us like we’re a totally different species to them (which is not ENTIRELY true). So I suggest we just eat them all!

Days have passed since I had my last brain and I’ve been itching to find another human however, my family don’t let me out any more because of some incident with a human and a fellow amoeba.

At the time, I wasn’t sure of the seriousness of the situation but several amoebas had gone missing over the week. I started to get suspicious…

Kirsty Wong Great Yarmouth High School, Norfolk

Comment by N Francis on October 7, 2013 at 12:59
The very next day I went to the park to see if I could find my friends. I spent ages trying to find them; I was starting to get completely perplexed. I decided to phone them on their mobiles. I waited and waited. Suddenly a bewildered female amoeba picked up the phone. “Hello” said the voice. “Hello” I said “can I talk to Matthew and Harry, please?” I heard a sniff and sigh, then the voice said “They’ve run away, they are the boys in the paper, don’t you read it!” She sounded distraught. “But why did they run away?” I asked.
“Do you remember how Harry was a fanatical about making us like humans, so he would be able to talk to people, and Matthew had the most innovative mind ever, together they could revolutionise the relationship between amoeba and humans. That’s why they have gone!” I hadn’t heard such a lamentable voice in my life. I ran to the woods as fast I could, not knowing where I was going but I was going to get there quickly. Abruptly I heard a cacophony of a sound; it was like a million insects screaming at the top of their voices. I ran in the opposite direction of the cries. I saw a branch in front of me but it was too late to change direction. BANG, the tree knocked me down. CRASH, I started rolling down a hill. SMACK, I hit a rock. Then I realised where they were………

Matthew Jones and Harry Castle, St Benedicts Catholic School, Suffolk.
Comment by Simone Pope on October 7, 2013 at 13:48

A shudder of light flashed across my wounded, scratched eyes. A vision… I captured the scene for a fraction of a second before a sharp ringing, shot through my ears. Before I could react, I picked up a low, bellowing shout of a fellow amoeba begging for mercy and for someone to come and save their innocent soul. I felt obliged to come to their aid but I was still distorted and nauseas from smashing my head on the now bloody rock. Slowly, and with great caution, I got to my feet and struggled down the bank to cleanse myself in the flowing nearby river. After a great struggle to wash the infected blood away from the gash in my head, I tried to recall what terrors I had seen in that split second vision. Bright, piercing lights, gleaming white walls and sets of human operated machinery surrounded a shining sparkling floor. Then I remembered… the screaming.

I hadn’t realized that my extreme drowsiness had caused me to collapse, but I rose to my feet and trudged on. My friends need my help. Now is my chance to become a hero, as us amoebas are nothing more than meaningless offal. Until now, I know I can make a difference but I don’t have long. Blood sweat and tears followed two days of looking for any sign of amoeba life but it didn’t pay off. I desperately tried to recall any more clues that would eventually lead me to the horrific, harrowing hideout of those that have abducted my friends.

Suddenly I heard an abrupt shriek; my conscience holds the biggest implication… 


By Sam and Joe , Woolmer Hill School

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